1862 2025
My Aunt Faye dropped a history lesson in our family group chat on New Year's Eve– a message about the Emancipation Proclamation. Initially, I was confused. Surely, this wasn't the intended message to celebrate the New Year? But as I read about the enslaved people gathered around a man with a watch awaiting their freedom, I realized something. Many of us are still waiting for some external force to liberate us too.
We stay up late the eve of the New Year waiting until midnight for the New Year to magically transform us. We vow to shed those extra pounds, conquer those bad habits, and finally become the person we've always envisioned. Only to realize a few weeks into the year that nothing has really changed except the number of the year. We do the same thing every year convinced that the stroke of midnight will somehow magically break the chains of our past.
But just as the Emancipation Proclamation didn't instantly free the enslaved, the mere passage of time won't liberate us from our internal shackles. True freedom requires conscious effort. It takes a lot of working with ourselves which many of us don’t have the patience or the courage to do. It begins with recognizing the shackles that bind us – the negative self-talk, the fear of failure, the core beliefs that keep us stuck and on a rollercoaster that never ends.
Researchers say that the average person has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before, and about 80% are negative. We say things like "You shouldn't have done that" or "You'll never be able to..." Sound familiar? These familiar tunes become a constant loop in our minds, reminding us of the shame, guilt, and fear. These thoughts, when left unchecked, can create a cycle of self-sabotage, trapping us in limiting beliefs preventing us from achieving our goals, forming new relationships, or simply enjoying the life that we’ve been given. It's about acknowledging the deeply ingrained patterns that sabotage our progress.
Before you dust off your vision boards and write down your noble intentions, let’s commit to spending time with ourselves and uncovering the underlying thoughts and beliefs that contribute to low-level energy and behaviors. These beliefs become our gremlins sabotaging everything around us. While untrue, these beliefs are like magnets attracting evidence to make them stronger. For example, if you believe you're "unlucky," you might notice and focus on all the instances where things didn't go your way, reinforcing that belief.
This year commit to building a more intimate relationship with yourself – become the observer of behaviors that are not aligned with your true self. For example, if you find yourself reacting with anger when someone is late, ask yourself: Is this anger truly about the lateness, or is it being triggered by past experiences of feeling unimportant or disrespected? Or if you consistently sabotage your success by procrastinating on important projects, ask yourself: Is this procrastination truly about laziness, or is it rooted in a fear of failure stemming from past criticism or perceived shortcomings?
By exploring these deeper connections, we can begin to understand the root causes of our behaviors and develop more effective strategies for managing our reactions and achieving our goals.
Here are a few steps to help you uncover your core values:
Observe your patterns: Be honest with yourself. Observe patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. What are your typical reactions to stress, conflict, or disappointment?
Ask yourself powerful questions:
What activities bring me joy and fulfillment?
What are my deepest values? (e.g., honesty, compassion, freedom, creativity)
What kind of impact do I want to have on the world?
Reflect on your past: Reflect on your childhood and past experiences. What lessons have you learned? What beliefs were formed during these formative years that are not serving me well today?
Challenge limiting beliefs: Identify and challenge negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. Replace them with more positive and empowering affirmations.
The New Year doesn't grant us freedom; it provides an opportunity for a fresh start. It's a chance to reflect, to reassess, and to choose a new path. It's a call to action, a reminder that the power to change lies within us.
So, let this year be the year you break free from the chains of your limitations. Let it be the year you embrace your true potential and create the life you truly desire. Happy New YOU!
MIndfully yours,
Niki Spears
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