When my children were young, a visit to our local Books-A-Million was a wonderful outing we all enjoyed. I would often find myself engaged in self-help books, while my husband browsed the business section, and my girls soaked up the adolescent section.
I recall one day, while book shopping with the family, a title in the "New Age" section caught my attention: "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Initially, I was hesitant, however fascinated by the book's exploration of consciousness I decided to purchase it. A profound moment in the book resonated deeply with me: Tolle described waking up from a cycle of negativity and recognizing that he couldn't continue living with himself anymore. Wow! This was an awakening that sparked the understanding that there was a deeper, more authentic part of me waiting to be discovered. This yearning to uncover this part of myself has led me on this journey of self-discovery.
Many of us often fall into the trap of believing that negative thoughts are our enemies, that we must forcefully suppress them to find peace. Nope, the truth is, these thoughts are simply part of the human experience. They won't magically disappear. Instead of fighting them, we can learn to simply shift what we are focusing on.
Morela Hernandez, in her MITSloan Management Review article, "The Impossibility of Focusing on Two Things at Once," highlights a key finding from neurological science: the human brain cannot truly focus on two things simultaneously.
Think about this for a moment. Imagine you're trying to have a conversation with a friend while simultaneously watching a captivating TV show. You might find yourself constantly distracted, missing parts of the show and becoming frustrated. This happens a lot to me when my husband calls in the middle of a good movie I’m watching.
The same is true when we think about our thoughts. When we choose to engage in a new, empowering thought, it naturally becomes our dominant focus. For example, when I find myself stuck thinking about a challenging relationship or an unfortunate situation, I pause and do an energy check-in and ask myself:
What am I thinking about right now?
How is this thought making me feel?
How can I reframe this situation?
This simple process allows me to step back and examine the thoughts and beliefs that I am holding that could be contributing to my perspective of the person or the situation. By reframing I am able to give new meaning thereby focusing on a new, more productive thought.
Let's say you get passed over for a promotion at work. You might immediately think, "I'm not good enough," or "I'll never succeed in this company." These thoughts may be rooted in past experiences where you felt undervalued or experienced setbacks. By observing these thoughts objectively, you can begin to question their validity.
Maybe the decision was based on factors beyond your control, or maybe it presents an opportunity to explore new career paths.
It's beneficial to become an observer, stepping back to neutrally assess the origin of these emotions and remind yourself that your current feelings may not always reflect the reality of a situation.
During my workshops, I introduce a tool to help further support the participants in becoming more aware of their thoughts and how these thoughts can impact their emotions. simple tool I l "The Energy Map” is a tool I developed to help individuals assess their current emotional state. During my sessions, I'll display the five different energy levels on separate pieces of large paper and post them around the room.
The levels are:
Level 1: Helplessness (Victim Mindset)
Level 2: Tension (Conflict, Anger)
Level 3: Ownership (Responsibility, Accountability)
Level 4: Servant Leadership (Teamwork, Service to Others)
Level 5: Love (Compassion, Peace, Joy)
Participants then position themselves according to their current emotional state. This exercise I call an energy check-in highlights the fluidity of our emotions and encourages them to become more self-awareness. Conducting energy check-ins throughout the day can further deepen this understanding.
The Energy Map has been helpful in my own journey and in guiding others towards a more fulfilling life. By understanding the power of our focus, we can consciously choose to cultivate thoughts that uplift and empower us, leading to a life filled with joy, peace, and purpose.
Start your day by engaging in an energy check in or do an energy check-in before or after your next meeting. This will provide you and your teammates with valuable feedback about their current emotional state which can lead to improved relationships, better teamwork, and team members who are self-aware. Download a free copy here: https://www.culturecre8ion.com/resources
Remember, your journey is unique and beautiful. Celebrate your victories, learn from your “Aha” moments, and never stop believing in your ability to create a life that truly reflects your values and aspirations. A beautiful life begins with you!
With mindful intention,
Niki Spears
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