Opening My Own Box on My Daughter's Wedding Day

Friday, April 4th, wasn't just my oldest daughter Bianca’s wedding day; in a way, it felt like mine too. It brought to mind a vision I've been carrying for a few weeks now – the idea that at the moment of our birth, each of us is given an invisible box. Though unseen by the human eye, its contents – our unique gifts and circumstances – begin to be revealed at each stage of life's journey. As Bianca prepared to unveil the next beautiful contents of her own life's box with her sweetheart, Corey, I was also stepping into a new understanding of what my own box held.

I was honored she asked me to style her hair on her big day. And while it had been a while since my hands had touched these strands, being that she’s now thirty-two, styling her hair that afternoon was more than just a routine I'd done thousands of times since she was an infant, a little girl, and even a teenager. It was a precious gift, a moment to reflect on all those years – even the ones where combing the hair of three daughters sometimes felt like a drain. Yet, looking back, even those moments of what felt like a minor struggle – the tired arms, the extra time – was now our shared history of love and connection. It’s a reminder that sometimes, what we perceive as our biggest pains or inconveniences can, with the passage of time and a shift in perspective, reveal themselves as precious gifts in disguise. This time, every stroke was filled with a deep appreciation for the journey we've shared and the boxed gifts God gave us at the start of our lives.

Because this box is invisible to our physical senses, many of us never realize it exists. Our eyes are drawn to the visible world, to what we perceive as real – the tangible, the material. Yet, the truth is often found in what we cannot see: our courage, our resilience, our capacity to love and forgive. We become distracted by the things we witness in this outside world, asking age-old questions: What is the meaning of life? Why does another seem to have more, or experience less hardship? What did I do to deserve this?  The instructions for how to navigate this world filled with uncertainties cannot be found in the outside world, but I believe in the divine guidance that illuminates our path and helps us understand the deeper purpose within the unique contents of our boxes.

The gifts and circumstances within our invisible box are not external prizes or punishments; they are inherent to our being. Our constant search for meaning in the outside world, in possessions or comparisons, only distracts us from the treasures we already possess. Look around you now. What do you see? As I write this message in my living room, I see the familiar comforts– a chair, a sofa, photographs. The meaning these objects hold is the meaning I have given them through my experiences. But within this same space, I cannot touch love, fear, or the quiet strength that resides within.

The outside world, beautiful and tangible as it may seem, has no inherent meaning beyond what we choose to assign it. So, as we navigate life, searching for our purpose and understanding our journey, let us remember that our gifts and circumstances are unique and were never intended to destroy us. Instead, they are the very tools that will guide us closer to our "why."

Each person's life is an unfolding gift to another. The way we navigate our challenges and celebrate our triumphs becomes a testament to the gifts we were given. There is profound meaning in all that life offers, both the smooth paths and the rocky roads. The question, then, is not why do we struggle, but what meaning can we find within our struggles? As I watched my daughter, Bianca, step into her new life, radiant and ready, I understood that the contents of her invisible box, the joys, and challenges she has embraced, have shaped the remarkable woman standing before me – a gift not only to Corey but to all who are touched by her light.

And as I, too, embrace this new chapter, symbolized by the bittersweet joy of letting go and witnessing her happiness, I realize that my own invisible box continues to reveal new gifts and lessons. Perhaps, like me on Bianca's wedding day, your own significant life moments – the graduations, the new beginnings, the apparent endings – are not just milestones for others, but also profound opportunities to open your own invisible box, to recognize the unique treasures and strengths within, and to embrace the unfolding journey that is uniquely yours.

Here's to a beautiful life of embracing the joys and struggles that lie within our invisible boxes.